There are a lot of lessons to be learned in Wedding Etiquette 101. As a wedding guest, knowing when to keep your mouth shut is probably the most important lesson to learn. Well, that and not becoming the belligerently drunk at the open bar. Knowing these simple ten topics that are off limits will keep you from looking like a clown, being resented and will ensure the bride and groom’s wedding night is a pleasant memory. Do NOT say these things to a bride or groom.
Things NOT to Say to a Bride or Groom
- Divorce: DO NOT mention divorce in any regard, no matter what statistic you just read, no matter what your personal experience is, no matter the circumstances of the bride or groom’s family. Just. Don’t.
- Cost: Do not ask about the cost of anything! Nothing. Zilch. Nada.
- Babies: Do not ask how soon babies will come, or how many they are planning on having. And, DO NOT ask if the bride is already pregnant.
- Reference to Time: Make no reference to how long it took for the bride or groom to get married. Statements like finally, it’s about time and I can hardly believe it are all inappropriate.
- The Dress: Do not comment on the color or the style of the dress. Most likely, the bride LOVES her dress. Do not ruin it for her. Just tell her that she is beautiful.
- Help: Do not bother the bride and groom for any reason. If you have a problem, a better idea would be to take the problem to the wedding planner/coordinator, the venue operator, or the wait staff. If you really feel a catastrophe is about to happen, tell the the best man or maid-of-honor so they can pass along the information.
- Congratulations: It’s a simple play on words, but saying congratulations to the bride implies that she is lucky to be marrying—that she didn’t have her choice of suitors and it wasn’t guaranteed that she would marry. The proper thing to say to the bride is best wishes. However, it is not considered bad manners if you say congratulations to the groom. After all, he is the lucky one.
- Comment on Someone Else’s Wedding: This is the bride and groom’s big day and they are not interested in what so-and-so did their wedding. Keep it to yourself.
- Defend your Gift: If you couldn’t afford a really lavish wedding gift, make no excuses about it. Simply give your gift and sentimental note card in love and leave it at that.
- Innuendos: Do not make any comments about what the bride and groom will do on their wedding night. If you must comment about what a great night it is going to be, state the obvious. Comment on what a great time you’re having right now. Let the bride and groom know their wedding celebration is amazing and how grateful you are to have been a part.
The bottom line is that most of things are just none of your business. Don’t be that person!
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