I recently heard the term, “bridechilla.” It was new to me. I have heard the term “bridezilla” many times. Everyone knows exactly was a bridezilla is. Thankfully, I’ve never had to deal with a bridezilla. Nope, not once! And believe me, I am counting my lucky stars because I have heard some absolute horror stories from colleagues in the industry. Some bridezilla stories were so bad they caused the photographer to just quit the business. Yes, someone was so horrible to work with they actually caused another person to give up their career because they didn’t want to ever repeat that experience. So, I wanted to know more about this bridechilla. I was delighted to learn this new term. 

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A bridechilla is a bride that remains calm, cool, and collected during her entire wedding experience. Bridechillas never use phrases such as “my day, the most important day of my life, don’t ruin my day, etc.” A bridechilla is not defined by her wedding. This is the standard for the new bride.

It’s every bride’s dream to be remembered as a beautiful, graceful and courteous woman on their wedding day. Yes, this day is YOUR day and this day is all about YOU. However, that doesn’t give you free reign to be a Jezebel when something doesn’t go exactly as you have planned it. The day isn’t about getting your way, being a princess or being bossy. There are sensible ways to deal every shortcoming that “may” happen on your wedding day. If you feel you are just completely incapable of reacting to minor (or major) catastrophes in a mature and respectable way, then hire a wedding planner to deal with them and keep your head wrapped in your veil.

How to be a Bridechilla

In light of that, I’d thought I’d put together a list of ways you can avoid being the bridezilla. 

1. Be prepared to make decisions. Being a bridechilla doesn’t mean that you automatically get to shrug off all the wedding planning details to someone else because you’re afraid of being labeled as a bridezilla. Your wedding is a declaration of who you and your fiance are together, who you are independently and the relationship you share. You can own who you are and why it’s important without being a bridezilla. Having an idea or opinion doesn’t make you a monster. 
2. Expect things to go wrong on your wedding day. I’ve never witnessed a 100% totally perfect wedding day. I’ve witnessed things like the bride’s cake leaning to the side in extreme heat, the groom using the officiant’s wedding ring during the ceremony because his own was left at home, the coordinator losing her phone with all the processional music on it and causing the ceremony to start 35 minutes late, and someone hijacking the DJ and singing a song while coaxing the couple to have a first dance BEFORE their actual first dance! Not one of these brides became a bridezilla. Not one. They all handled these wedding day bloopers with dignity and grace. Don’t panic over small details.
3. Learn to delegate! You don’t have to carry the burden of planning the entire wedding fully on your own shoulders. Your bridal party is there to not only look beautiful at your side, they are also there to help you plan and prepare. Don’t be afraid to enlist their help or help from your family. 
4. Listen to other people who are close to you. Your family and close friends have the same emotional investment in your wedding day, so they will likely see when you are in danger of going over the top. They will know if you are losing sense of perspective. If they tell you you are going overboard, they may have a point.
5. Take a break when you need to. When it stops being fun and starts to become more like a job, take a small break. Scheduling time to do anything that is not related to your wedding planning is a great way to avoid becoming a bridezilla.
   
6. Set limits for yourself. This includes financial limits, timing limits, and practical limits. For example, you can decide to only spend an hour a week browsing through wedding catalogs or wedding planning websites. You can give yourself a deadline to choose certain vendors. And with regard to financial limits, remember that you don’t have to exhaust your entire budget.
7. Don’t compete with other brides. This day is NOT about competition. Plan the day for you, your fiance and your families. That’s it.
8. Don’t talk down to any of your wedding day vendors or guests. Treat everyone with respect, no matter what has just happened!
9. Always remember to include your fiance in the plans. This day is about him too. Give him a chance to speak and hear him out. This day is only the start to your marriage. You can’t have a great start if you’re obsessing over napkins.
10. Remember WHY you’re having a wedding. If at the end of the day, you are married to the love of your life, the day was perfect.

The post, How to be a Bridechilla, first appeared on Ata-Girl Photography Co.’s website and blog. Please feel free to comment here, or share this post with your friends via Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest. Please email me if you have any questions about this article or want to share a neat idea for a future blog post with me.